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🟥English Essay Models Year 7-13: Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated?




 Year 7   Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

Technology is often seen as something that brings people together. We can message friends, video call family, and share photos instantly. However, I believe technology is quietly changing the way we connect, and not always in a good way.

On the one hand, technology helps us stay in touch. For example, if someone moves to another country, we can still see their face and hear their voice. That is something previous generations could only dream of. Social media also allows people to find others who share the same hobbies or interests.

On the other hand, technology can make people feel lonely. Sometimes people sit in the same room but are lost inside their own screens. Instead of talking face to face, they scroll, swipe, and type. Over time, this can make friendships feel shallow rather than meaningful.

In my opinion, technology is powerful. It can connect us across oceans, but it can also build invisible walls between people sitting side by side. Ultimately, it is up to us to decide whether we use it to truly connect or allow it to slowly isolate us.

Year 7 – Why This Is Excellence Level

  • The writer clearly shares their opinion and sticks to it the whole way through.

  • They look at both sides of the topic (the good and the bad).

  • Each paragraph follows on logically from the one before it.

  • The writer starts to think about deeper ideas (like friendships being “shallow” instead of meaningful).

  • The tone is calm and thoughtful.

  • Words and phrases link ideas together clearly.


 Year 8 – Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

Technology is often described as a tool that brings people together. We can send messages instantly, share photos, and talk to someone on the other side of the world. However, while technology makes communication easier, it does not always make it deeper.

On one hand, technology allows families and friends to stay connected even when they live far apart. Video calls help us see facial expressions, and group chats keep everyone included. For example, during lockdowns, many people relied on technology to maintain friendships. As a result, relationships that might have faded were able to continue.

On the other hand, technology can sometimes replace real-life interaction. People may sit in the same room but spend their time scrolling through social media instead of talking. In contrast to face-to-face conversation, online communication can feel rushed or shallow. Because of this, misunderstandings can happen more easily.

Ultimately, technology itself is not the problem. Instead, the way we choose to use it determines whether it connects or isolates us. Therefore, if we use technology to support real relationships rather than replace them, it can be a powerful tool for connection.

Year 8 – Why This Is Excellence 

The argument is clear and stays strong throughout the writing.

Both sides are explained well, not just mentioned.

Ideas are developed with detail instead of being basic or obvious.

Paragraphs are organised clearly and in a sensible order.

The tone sounds mature and controlled.

Linking words (like “however,” “as a result,” and “therefore”) are used on purpose.

The writer begins to explore bigger ideas, not just simple ones.



Year 9 – Excellence Model

Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

Technology promises connection. It offers instant messages, shared memories, and constant contact. Yet, beneath this promise lies a subtle paradox: the tools designed to unite us can also quietly distance us from one another.

Digital communication allows us to transcend geography. Families separated by continents can speak daily. Movements for justice can spread in hours. In this sense, technology is undeniably empowering.

However, connection is not the same as closeness. When interactions are reduced to emojis and short replies, nuance disappears. Over time, these diluted exchanges can create an illusion of intimacy rather than the real thing.

Technology itself is not the enemy. Instead, the danger lies in unquestioned dependence. Therefore, technology is both bridge and barrier — and our choices determine which it becomes.

Year 9 – Why This Is Excellence 

  • The writer explores deeper ideas (like a “paradox” or an “illusion of intimacy”).

  • The argument is clear and stays focused the whole time.

  • Vocabulary is more advanced and used correctly.

  • Ideas build on each other in a logical way.

  • The tone and structure are carefully controlled.

  • Transitions between ideas are smooth and clear.


 Year 10 – Excellence Model

Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

Technology has reshaped human interaction in ways that would have seemed impossible only decades ago. Yet, this unprecedented connectivity raises a critical question: are we experiencing genuine closeness, or merely a carefully curated simulation of connection?

Social media platforms allow users to construct identities. As a result, we present highlight reels of our lives, filtering out struggle and imperfection. This creates a culture of comparison that can lead to anxiety and disconnection. While we appear socially active, we may feel internally fragmented.

At the same time, technology provides lifelines. For instance, for marginalised communities, online spaces can offer belonging where physical environments do not. In such cases, technology becomes a vital architecture of support.

Ultimately, technology is neither inherently isolating nor inherently connecting. Instead, it amplifies human behaviour. Without reflection, however, it risks reducing relationships to performative exchanges rather than authentic bonds.

Year 10 – Why This Is Excellence 

  • The writing sounds analytical (the writer examines and questions ideas).

  • The vocabulary is advanced and includes strong comparisons or metaphors.

  • The discussion is balanced and shows careful thinking.

  • The writer keeps exploring abstract (big, complex) ideas across the whole piece.

  • The structure makes sense and flows logically.

  • The writer shows confidence and control over their ideas.


 Year 11 – NCEA Level 1 Excellence

Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

Technology has become embedded in the fabric of modern life, reshaping how individuals construct identity and maintain relationships. While it offers unprecedented access to communication, it simultaneously risks fostering a culture of performative connectivity.

One significant impact of digital interaction is the commodification of attention. Social media platforms reward visibility. As a result, users may develop validation-seeking behaviours that substitute depth for display. Consequently, relationships may prioritise appearance over authenticity.

Conversely, technology can facilitate meaningful connection. In this context, it functions as a democratising force.

Therefore, technology is not inherently divisive. Rather, it magnifies existing human tendencies. The responsibility lies in cultivating intentional and reflective usage.

Year 11 (Level 1) – Why This Is Excellence 

  • The writer shows strong understanding of the deeper meaning of the topic.

  • The argument is convincing and well explained.

  • Ideas are linked together smoothly instead of listed separately.

  • Vocabulary is academic and appropriate for this level.

  • The structure is controlled and stays focused on the topic.


Year 12 – NCEA Level 2 Excellence

Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

The rapid integration of technology into daily life has redefined the architecture of human interaction. While digital platforms promise limitless connectivity, they simultaneously generate a paradoxical erosion of embodied presence.

Communication is increasingly mediated through screens. Consequently, this environment fosters a transactional model of relationships. Individuals are constantly visible, yet rarely fully known.

However, dismissing technology as inherently isolating oversimplifies its complexity. In these contexts, it can operate as a catalyst for collective agency.

Thus, the impact of technology is contingent rather than deterministic. Ultimately, whether it isolates or connects depends on the intentionality underpinning its use.

Year 12 (Level 2) – Why This Is Excellence 

  • The writer keeps exploring complex ideas throughout the essay.

  • They show strong insight into how technology affects society.

  • The argument is thoughtful and not overly simple.

  • Advanced vocabulary is used correctly and naturally.

  • The tone sounds formal and academic.

  • Ideas are linked together clearly and logically.


Year 13 – NCEA Level 3 Excellence

Is Technology Connecting Us More or Making Us More Isolated? 

Technology has not merely altered communication; it has reconstructed the ontological foundations of human connection. In an era defined by perpetual connectivity, individuals inhabit a hyper-mediated social reality, where presence is both ubiquitous and fragmented.

Digital platforms commodify intimacy. Within this framework, relationships risk becoming performative artefacts shaped by surveillance capitalism. Authenticity becomes negotiable.

Yet, technological mediation also destabilises traditional hierarchies. In this sense, it enables a decentralisation of relational power.

Therefore, the question is not whether technology connects or isolates, but rather how it reconfigures the conditions under which connection occurs. Human relationships are rendered simultaneously expansive and precarious. Ultimately, the ethical challenge lies in navigating this terrain with critical awareness.

Year 13 (Level 3) – Why This Is Excellence 

  • The argument feels original and perceptive (shows deep understanding).

  • The writer uses big, conceptual ideas to frame their argument.

  • The style is mature and academic.

  • Abstract language is used confidently and accurately.

  • The conclusion brings ideas together in a thoughtful way.




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