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🟥Year 7 and 8 English: What is Wrong With This Writing?


1. I went to the park it was fun.


2. Because I forgot my lunch. 


3. The dog was big and it was very big and also really big.


4. We had a game yesterday, it was cool, we won, everyone was happy.
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5. My weekend was good. I did stuff.


6. The teacher said “stop talking”. But everyone keep talking.


7. The movie was like so cool and amazing and awesome like really good.


8. I was running fast but I tripped and fell I hurt my leg I cried.


9. There was a noise in the night. It was loud. I don’t know what it was but anyway it was loud.


10. At school yesterday doing science.


11. He went to the shop he buyed something.


12. The cat jumped it was fluffy it was cute it was friendly it was the best cat.


13. I made a cake and it was nice and I liked it and my mum liked it too.


14. We was walking home and it rained on us.


15. I want to talk about sports. Sports are fun. I like sports. Anyway sports are cool.


16. The bus didn’t came.


17. I went to my cousins house and we played games then we ate dinner then we watched a movie and then we went to bed.


18.  My brother is annoying he always touches my stuff he never listens.


19. The storm was big and scary it was like the biggest storm ever.


20. When the teacher gave us the test. I was nervous and then I did the test.


21. My favourite food is pizza its good.


22. I was walking to the shops it was raining and windy and I was cold and wet.

23. The dog barked it barked again it barked again.


24. I can’t wait to go to camp its going to be fun we are going to do everything.


25. The story was boring I didn’t like it because boring.


26. Yesterday I went to the library but the books were all like not the ones I wanted.


27. I seen my friend at the mall we talked.


28. My dad drives fast he drives too fast he is very fast when he drives.


29. We were happy because of the thing that happened earlier that day.

30. The dragon was scary. It was big. And green. And very very very scary.







Answers

1. I went to the park it was fun.

Error: Run-on sentence (two ideas squashed together).
Fix: Add a full stop or a joining word.
Example: I went to the park. It was fun.


2. Because I forgot my lunch.

Error: Sentence fragment (dependent clause only).
Fix: Add a main clause.
Example: Because I forgot my lunch, I had to borrow food.


3. The dog was big and it was very big and also really big.

Error: Repetition, weak vocabulary.
Fix: Use one strong adjective.
Example: The dog was enormous.


4. We had a game yesterday, it was cool, we won, everyone was happy.

Error Comma splice and run-ons.
Fix: Break into clear sentences.
Example: We had a game yesterday. We won, and everyone was happy.

5. My weekend was good. I did stuff.

Error: Vague meaning (“stuff”).
Fix: Add details.
Example: My weekend was good. I went swimming and visited my cousins.*


6. The teacher said “stop talking”. But everyone keep talking.

Error: Verb error (“keep” → kept) + punctuation error.
Example: The teacher said, “Stop talking,” but everyone kept talking.

7. The movie was like so cool and amazing and awesome like really good.

Error :Overuse of fillers (“like”), weak adjectives.
Fix: Use precise vocabulary.
Example: The movie was exciting and well-acted.

8. I was running fast but I tripped and fell I hurt my leg I cried.

Error: Multiple run-ons.
Fix: Break into 2–3 sentences.
Example: I was running fast, but I tripped and fell. I hurt my leg and cried.

9. There was a noise in the night. It was loud. I don’t know what it was but anyway it was loud.

Error: Repetition, unnecessary filler (“anyway”).
Fix: Remove repeated idea.
Example: There was a loud noise in the night. I still don’t know what it was.

10. At school yesterday doing science.

Error: Fragment (no subject).
Fix: Add a main clause.
Example: We were doing science at school yesterday.

11. He went to the shop he buyed something.

Error Grammar (“buyed” → bought) + run-on.
Example: He went to the shop and bought something.


12. The cat jumped it was fluffy it was cute it was friendly it was the best cat.

Error: Repetitive + run-ons.
Fix: Combine ideas.
Example: The fluffy, friendly cat jumped. It was the best cat.

13. I made a cake and it was nice and I liked it and my mum liked it too.

Error: “And-chain” (too many ANDs).
Fix: Combine or separate.
Example: I made a cake. It turned out well, and my mum liked it too.

14. We was walking home and it rained on us.

Error: Verb agreement (“was” → were).
 Example: We were walking home when it rained on us.

15. I want to talk about sports. Sports are fun. I like sports. Anyway sports are cool.

Error: Repetition + filler (“anyway”).
Fix: Combine ideas.
Example: I enjoy sports because they are fun.

16. The bus didn’t came.

Error: Wrong verb form (“didn’t come”).
Example: The bus didn’t come.

17. I went to my cousins house and we played games then we ate dinner then we watched a movie and then we went to bed.

Error: Run-on with repeated “then”.
Fix: Break into steps.
Example: I went to my cousin’s house. We played games, ate dinner, watched a movie, and went to bed.

18. My brother is annoying he always touches my stuff he never listens.

Error: Run-on.
Example: My brother is annoying. He always touches my stuff and never listens.

19. The storm was big and scary it was like the biggest storm ever.

Error: Run-on + filler (“like”).
Example: The storm was huge and frightening. It felt like the biggest storm ever.

20. When the teacher gave us the test. I was nervous and then I did the test.

Error: Fragment (dependent clause ending with full stop).
Example: When the teacher gave us the test, I felt nervous.

21. My favourite food is pizza its good.

Error: Missing apostrophe (“it's”).
Example: My favourite food is pizza. It's good.


22. I was walking to the shops it was raining and windy and I was cold and wet.

Error: Run-on + repetition.
Example: I was walking to the shops in the cold, windy rain.

23. The dog barked it barked again it barked again.

Error: Repetition.
Fix: Summarise.
Example: The dog barked several times.

24. I can’t wait to go to camp its going to be fun we are going to do everything.

Error: Missing apostrophe (“it's”) + run-on.
Example: I can’t wait to go to camp. It’s going to be fun.


25. The story was boring I didn’t like it because boring.

Error: Repetition + unclear reasoning.
Example: The story was boring, so I didn’t like it.


26. Yesterday I went to the library but the books were all like not the ones I wanted.

Error: Filler word (“like”), unclear wording.
Example: Yesterday I went to the library, but they didn’t have the books I wanted.

27. I seen my friend at the mall we talked.

Error: Verb error (“seen” → saw) + run-on.
Example: I saw my friend at the mall, and we talked.


28. My dad drives fast he drives too fast he is very fast when he drives.

Error: Repetition + run-on.
Example: My dad drives too fast.

29. We were happy because of the thing that happened earlier that day.

Error: Vague language (“the thing”).
Example: We were happy because we won our game earlier that day.

30. The dragon was scary. It was big. And green. And very very very scary.

Error: Choppy sentences + unnecessary repetition.
Example: The dragon was big, green, and frightening.






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